My profession has spawned a sub-culture of people who are desperate to speak with me at all times. People scream questions and make comments from far away, in hopes to engage in conversation? Neighbors also peer into my windows, listen in on my business and personal phone calls, while making unwarranted and unwelcome comments. They then discuss and disclose these details in public fashion and expect the subject of their undeserved and unwanted scrutiny to be complicit. They also lie about how the information was acquired and manipulate the content of what they claim to have heard. People act as if they find it normal and necessary to try to constantly communicate with me this way.
It’s a practice that began in NYC, I suppose. I’ve since moved 3000 miles overland and the disturbing behavior has yet to cease. In the past, I’ve called the police many times, I’ve contacted the Brooklyn District Attorney's office, I’ve spoken with attorneys and I’ve threatened to call the FBI. It has involved information about very personal things like my passport, online accounts and Social Security information. The authorities act as if nothing can be done, because nothing has yet been affected. Right now my hands are tied. However, what I hope to accomplish in the future is real and significant legal consequences for the people who find it appropriate to disclose information pertaining to my business, that as a business owner, I intended to keep private. Their invasion will not go unpunished.
Some people, find it fair and necessary, because they think I am a celebrity and they use it as an excuse to invade. Although, I do have more than modest aspirations for my brand and small business, I am in fact not famous. My brand is growing in popularity and for this I am extraordinarily grateful. I do sometimes comment on celebrity personalities professionally on business social media platforms as a marketing tool. I am not a celebrity and I don’t purport to be famous. This ties into Women's History because it's a behavior that is seen as fine and acceptable to do to a Black Woman of Caribbean descent in America in 2021. None of the men are complaining about this.
I find the practice to be disgusting, abhorrent, deplorable, and it is greatly discouraged. It is a constant attack on my person-hood, livelihood, my business and on all women really. It has affected my personal relationships, my living situation and my work life. It has also affected the way I communicate with my friends and family. As you can imagine, I am reluctant to speak to anyone unnecessarily due to this constant flow of disrespect. Our conversations are then littered with more commentary about this practice. It's a modern day tool now being employed to continue White Oppression in this country as my current neighbors are predominantly of Caucasian descent. It's the newest suppression of the female voice and a tool used to effectuate their agenda, in an attempt to modify and control the female behavior by invasion coupled with oversharing. These tactics will not work.
In the meantime, see below the poem for March as the third installment of the My Year in LA 2021 Blog. It is a poem about vulnerability and falling in love. Being vulnerable oftentimes comes with a negative connotation as it is quite literally defined as susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm. However, it can sometimes be appealing, desirable and important in close personal relationships. Vulnerability, honesty and open communication between the involved parties may lead to a more concrete bond and be the impetus to create lasting love. Please enjoy!
VULNERABLE
Do you believe in all the fantastical tales
of Gods
of men
hypocrites and liars
cynics, mortals, instigators, Peeping Toms and the like?
Your time seems better spent on
distractions, diversions, dime pieces, time pieces
I think it to be discouraging
I resent the discussions we cannot have
Does my jealousy disillusion you?
Dear secret admirer
You’ve given so much
Yet there’s still nothing
tangible, quantifiable, nor concrete
to proudly display
Instead displayed publicly across a multitude of mediums
then more stories told
of women, fame and celebrity
exhibited naked, while clandestine; from magazine cover spread eagle
Privy by candlelight
It’s all to easy for you to be linked with another
How I’ve forgiven you every time...
In this love, which has surpassed a decade
I wish to love you upwards of a million moons and more
An innumerable quantity shall suffice
I wrote these stanzas for you
With more than a body offering
I gift you the beauty of prose.
How do we consummate this forbidden love
When I have only and all myself to give?
Do you believe you’ve earned thy sacrifice?
How dare you question its sacred divinity
I find it easier to abstain
from the pain, of losing you brutally
I’ve meditated on better things
Still I have wounds to circumvent
Words we need to exchange
No matter the time or place
Finite location, duration, or platform
I assure it’ll be my favorite date
It’s true I have no voice in this conversation
I pray we manifest what you promised
Can you give all that I desire?
World famous superstar
I’ve returned to you always
I question if it be the wisest answer this time
A love so seldom, cherished, revered, celebrated
I wonder if we committed
With full intent, good reason, and with pure heart
To this ideal we’ve upheld, could you love me for real?
With whole spirit, mind, and more
I’d succumb to you completely
Indefinitely
For all of time
I meditate on these beautiful things