May has been a transformative month. I've finally hit my 6 month goal of working continuously in the city of Los Angeles. When I first moved to California in November of 2020 I wanted to solidify a presence of permanence. I wanted to leave an impression of reliability on my new marketplace, neighbors and consumers. I wanted to let people know, not just by my words but most importantly by my actions that I could be trusted. I did this by being the most consistent with the posting of my weekly calendar. I created a schedule and I stuck with it. Everytime. If a post was there, it meant that I was undoubtedly open for business. That will absolutely continue moving forward.
As a female Entrepreneur I oftentimes experience a tremendous amount of criticism for being "so much like a man." I think what this translates to in plain English is that my 'can do attitude,'determination, resilience, ambition, prowess, tenacity, devotion to my craft and sheer will power is perceived as uncommon in the female? I undoubtedly do not hold myself in comparison to others in any regard. Yet, the insecurities of other people seems to be the recurring theme here, with this type of commentary. My successes are 100% attributed to my life experiences, incredible role models, mentors, my education, hard work and just evolving beyond past experiences. I have grown so much as a business owner and human being during my career. I am humbled that has accompanied my almost six years of experience as a Solopreneur.
I have had to make decisions on my own, which are oftentimes criticized by complete strangers. The people who feel insignificant watching small business grow and diligence pay off, voice irrelevant opinions meant to deter my drive. I work hard! That is sometimes the most overlooked element when it comes to running this successful brand. Some people are so quick to judge, and be envious of what putting in the time has accomplished. Yet I get no credit from said critics for doing the actual "heavy lifting" of 50lbs boxes of candle wax. The reward gets trashed, the Entrepreneur gets dissed, and the cynics take considerable pleasure in mentioning my name time and time again regardless of the subject line. Moreover, the actual effort gets none of the credit.
This is an assessment of the evolution and the digression of the experiences good and bad in this city. The next door neighbors, say and do anything in order to get mentioned. Some take pleasure in the racism criticism. Others take pleasure in disrespecting their disrespect. It all adds up to the desperate need for attention and it results in an obsessive compulsion to constantly and I do mean around the clock discussion of the motif which is Stashana.
The perceived celebrity they live in proximity to, has become their most important topic and it plays over and over again. The racist comments have increased. The racist behaviors and attitudes have also become more prevalent and overt. However, the acts are becoming harder to deny and more evident to others, which was the goal of the protests. I traveled 3 hours to and from South Central LA yesterday and the only negative comment heard involving myself was "she lives next to the white people and she doesn't like it." In Los Feliz, the comments are much more perverse and nowadays they oftentimes include blatant racist links. Most recently a direct wisecrack about the color of my skin. Anyway, I think it best not to give too much attention to this subject matter this month because as mentioned before, some people take great pleasure in the attention derived from this, however unflattering.
As promised May has been a fruitful month and more good news is sure to follow. My brand name has officially been published in the Trademark Gazette. This is a major step in the right direction for my business and my 6 month milestone as an Entrepreneur in this city has been improved significantly because of such. I am so thankful for all the supporters from coast to coast who have been the foundation for this most incredible success. Thank You tremendously for your encouragement, kind words, and unbelievable generosity. The next half, meaning the subsequent 6 months of this most cathartic medium will be full of promise and good things that are already on the way. Thanks again so very much for reading. Find below a poem because it just seems fitting and now has become another unifying theme accompanying the posts.
Everyone loves a good break up song, so I figured a poem would be much in line with that. I will try to incorporate some of my raw food journey with you for June. Raw Veganism has become an integral part of my life and I hope by sharing, it will bring you as much health, happiness and vitality as it has done for me. Until then, keep the true goals of your heart alive...
Est-ce que tu m'aimes?
My heart is heavy from the burden
For the truths that still remain
So carefully hidden in the memory
That the companion did abstain
Do you need me somewhere
For I can longer be your muse
It changes nothing as you feared
We’ve both got all too much to lose
If I sing you a sadder song
Would the outcome remain the same
I love myself enough
To no longer call your name
The humble did inherit
The riches of the land
I play the fool no further
I’ve gone much farther than I can
I walk uprightly in my somber
I look back on things no more
Hope is the great disaster
No longer waiting by the door
I’ll leave the questions unanswered
I’ll profess to you so pure
For Juliet was the grave encounter
Romeo could not ignore
We part ways on equal terms
I find peace in my departure
For love is not the cure
I'll seek from you never after
I hope goodbye will suffice for now
I’ll make no mistakes forever after
Beyond the pain this affair has caused
I’ll live better and find laughter
The adieu shouldn’t be bitter
For the hello sure did astound
I’ll never be your master
But I’ll never be your clown
Two kisses on both cheeks
Comme des français évidemment
Your heart was never further
From the ideal I desperately did want
Some did it for clout
Others for maximum exposure
I pray with this sincerest goodbye
You'll find the sweetest closure
