April was intense. I have made the difficult decision to vacate the premises after only residing in this beautiful house, on the beautiful street for 6 short months. Since the last iteration of the blog, I have started protesting at the cross section where I take my ride-share to work events. I bear a recycled paper sign and it reads "Racism Lives On This Street." I recite the aforementioned phrase into oncoming traffic. I speak words which DO NOT promote violence as the on-comers follow along. Some people honk in encouragement, other faces are covered in disbelief, some are clearly mortified. Their faces bear witness to this incredible bravery, that I never thought I would have to show. There seems to be disbelief because this well dressed woman, with her successful business in tow, is standing in defiance of the modern day oppression or suppression of the excellence, strength, courage and will-power the African Woman is capable of.
Everyday in order to clean my dishes, use my bathroom, make business phone calls, and manage my brand in this private residence, I have to experience a tremendous amount of criticism. My actions are watched, monitored, and commented on constantly. My neighbors are very vociferous and overt with their disrespect. Oftentimes, from sunrise to sunset I hear my actions, being monitored and discussed in a public forum. They say things like "It's just the mundane we talk about." They believe they are warranted in their scrutiny and provide excuses for their actions. "She doesn't understand it's because she's famous." get said a lot on this street, where fear resides. I wish there were blinds.
It has so far cost me once again my home. I can't imagine how much business it would cost if I weren't so defiant. Finding a more suitable place for my business is the only reason, I couldn't move sooner. I did not move to California during one of the most challenging times in modern history in an attempt to uproot my life so soon. I didn't imagine that when I moved here I would be up against the most racism I have ever experienced in my entire life. I protest routinely. Not much has changed regarding their behaviors since then. Some of the neighbors have harshly criticized my public and peaceful protest. It is the only safe space I can think of to vent my frustrations and channel my emotions. I have been called names on a daily basis. I have become stronger because of it.
Some of the neighbors seem to be in agreement and challenge the disrespect. They cheer along and also extend approval, with kinder words after hearing some of the insults that come along with this level of ingenuity. After all, we don't live in an entirely racist world. My customer base is as diverse as ever and is growing in light of my resilience during the harshest criticism I've ever faced. I can't be sure what anybody really thinks though, no one has apologized to me for any on this. I hear the materials published on my business platforms, discussed repeatedly.
The racists find it appropriate to peer and disclose the likes of my eating habits and regimens. Some of the information I would have liked to share myself in the most professionally capacity. I hope to take legal action soon. In the meantime, I will continue to give more, be better and shine brighter. Next month, I hope to leave you with amazing news. For now a poem will have to suffice. I wrote this a few months ago, it rings truer today more than ever. Happy Spring!
Poisonous
And if the poison becomes the antidote
Then the curse becomes the reason for the sin
I’d ask if I’m forgiven
For the betrayals that laid within
But the unanswered inquiries bother me not
For the truth is far removed
Their motives are still temperamental
And to comply still would not behoove
The burden of proof remains
On the heavy heart that beats
And the secrets that you claim
Solidify your defeat
If the womb still purveys
Do your thoughts conflict the same
I question if your reality matches
The real outcome of the game?
And if you never get back up
I promise it wouldn’t arouse concern
For hypocrisy sealed your defeat
All to blatant and easy to discern
Then the consequence becomes the measure
then the lies foretell the pain
And your fate reveals a danger
That the cowardly disdain
I wonder would it please thy sovereign
To repay kindness with a gentle embrace
Then all thy monsters and your demons
Shall suddenly become erased
Some ration if there’s a heaven
I dare not ponder all too loud
I questioned whether to keep my virtue
For Romeo where forth art thou
My presence is thus immortal
Our destiny is also quite profound
The spoils of the victory are countless
All hail the champion, then, forever and now